how to rock for dummies

2012-01-23T11:07:00.002+08:00

Time spent with you are very hard to get..

And when there are, it's always short lived.

But i appriciate them alot. More than u actually know.

It may sometime seem that i expect more,

but to tell u the truth, what you give is more than i could ever ask for..

I never cared of what you give,

Because to me the initiative itself already caught my heart.

The birthday was amazing.

How you planned the whole thing..

Buts its not the gift that i look upon,

Just the act of giving, is what i love the most.

Thank my dear Shareena..

To many more ahead :)

2012-01-22T18:33:00.001+08:00

Trying to blog with my phone...
Testing one two three...

2012-01-12T01:16:00.002+08:00

i do not know why it feels like it's just too hard to cope.

i've been through something like this,i made it through, why

couldn't i do it again?

i know its just the mind set.

and yet that seems to be the biggest challenge of all,

in the dilemma.

because you cant survive on your own in a working place where

team work is key.

i must just take it easy somehow..

i need to learn to relax..

2012-01-01T23:39:00.005+08:00

through out the pass 11 months,

you've showed me nothing less that what

i wished for..

your love,understanding,patience.. even humour.

we've worked through so much.

from meeting any time we want to meeting only once a weeks,

spending as much as we want to having tied up with what we have..

adventure this small little island as if it's the whole world,

always something new,but we stick to our favourite rituals too.

i may have my guards up and down like the ocean tides,

but one thing will always stay the same.

my heart,for you.

cheers to the things we've been through,

and to the many bitter sweet ahead.

i love you chubby cheeks!

happy 11th month and a new year.

2011-12-23T17:08:00.002+08:00

it was good time spent, but still my mind can't rest in peace.

seem petty,what i'm going through but only the one whose going through

can understand.

i recall once talking about hardship,

to face it with a positive mind..

but no one said it'll be easy.

sometimes,one would shy away from people when in times of hardship,

not because they're stubborn or too proud.

but for the simply reason of not troubling others in what he/she thinks

can be handled by one's self.

maybe ego plays a part, thinking or knowing none of that

third person advise,words of comfort would help in any sense.

a fruitful end, is all i'm looking forward to.

just in a form of knowing it was a worth going through that

and it grows you a little wiser.

2011-12-08T23:38:00.005+08:00

what's life without obstacles?

that's what i ask myself when facing certain

misfortune in life.

the best way to take it on is to face it upfront,

confront the situation as it is.

the faster we get over it the better..

but we as human,it's just normal to find the easier way out.

and i actually believe that it's not actually a bad approach,

i mean,if it settles the problem without causing any obvious

downside and it gives a happy ending,why not?

of late, I've been denying the help of the great one,

thinking that if i don't have him in me in times of happiness,

i don't deserve his help in time of need.

i strongly believe that i shouldn't ask for help if i don't

show my gratitude all this while or afterwards.

but now i feel that that isn't the kind of mindset that

i should inculcate in myself.

he is there in everything i do and in good or bad,

and i,instead of ignoring,should acknowledge that i am here,

in his will.

i should be very thankful,for that, i have a good life,

home and company.

i am grateful, and thus, the approach of a bad situation would be a of a

positive one.

"Here I am with all the pleasures of the first world Laid out before me,who am I to breakdown?"

2011-11-13T01:26:00.003+08:00

we've come a long way from where we started off.

though i can't fully be what you want, i'll try my best to be.

that guy you look up to, the guy i once was.

today seem different.

it felt like it was when we just starting to know each other,

the silly jokes, the fun we had.

like falling in love all over again, refreshing.

and all the reason why i fall for you were all around us.

a day like this don't come often.

the small things that keeps us strong.

2011-10-23T15:05:00.003+08:00

i love you for being strong for me.

i love the commitment you've put in our relationship.

i love how you tolerate me.

i love how i don't have to tolerate you =D

for the many things that may have crumble me down,

there's always you to get me back on my feet.

even though you always know at the back of your mind,

things might not be the same the next time we meet.

for what its worth,

i'll salvage us until we're really through,

but till then,

i fucking love you too..

2011-10-06T21:28:00.005+08:00

hey there.

i had an opportunity to catch up with two person that meant the world to me,

back then and till today.

i caught up with my best friend,

it's been a while since we hung out.

there we a lot to talk about,to explain.

we have to make certain changes since things've changed.

as friends, we should understand. and if we're really good friends,

nothing will hinder the friendship no matter how bad things are..

i caught up with someone from the past.

i'm surprised how good things were between us after so much that had happen.

i felt like i finally got to a closure,and i can feel happy for her.

for that she's not in that phase of her life where things were fucked up.

as much as it was painful to have gone through it,

i'm happy that i stick around to see a good end.

i have to admit,i'm not good in adapting with changes and new environment.

and to leave parts of my life behind and just walk away.

we're human,we dwell of the lost in life and sometimes the thought moving

seems unbearable.

one can't keep taking a few steps and look back on how much they've left behind,

but to keep walking and see how much the have with and in front of them.

and when we do take that short stop to look behind,we should be happy of what we've went through to be how strong we are now.

2011-07-04T02:26:00.003+08:00

dear shareena nur,

simple,sweet,polite and considerate.

you never fail to be there for me.

never have i met anyone as supporting,

understanding and loving as you are.

you picked me up,while i was down on the ground,

you stayed around in my darkest moment,

and you shine it up,as bright as your smile.

you make me feel like i'm the king of the world,

even when i'm just a jack of all trade.

the look you give when i make sarcastic,insulting jokes

always appears in my head,and it'll

always makes me smile to myself.

though times are hard now,

you're still there being strong for me,for us.

and most of all,

when others just accept my weaknesses,

you embrace them.

and i've never felt more alive.

thank you,i love you.

2011-06-20T10:49:00.002+08:00

it's been a while.

there's nothing much going on right now,

how could it right?

just booking in and out from camp.

it's a drag to be honest,

knowing you only have 2 days in the outside world.

but i just feel lucky that i have her,

to be around when i am out.

i don't know how it'll if i didn't have her around.

for everything she's done for me,every time she's been in hard times.

i'm very thankful=]

this week will be a challenge.

i have a date with the past,

and i'm not sure how it'll be.

i have to be strong for myself,

for her..

and i'm not going to disappoint.

i hope you know how much i love you.

no matter what happens.

2011-04-10T17:43:00.002+08:00

hey..it's been a while.

i'm in ns now.

it's taking it's toll on me slowly,

but that's what you have to do to be a man,right?

i've been really good,life's been good.

and it's all thanks to the few people that help me through my think and thin.

my beloved bestfriend,

who never fail be there for me in times of need.

my dear love,

that had always supported me in everything i do.

and friends,

who had always made life worth living.

without them,

i wouldn't be the person i am.

and i've never been more thankful to have them,

now..

2011-03-12T23:47:00.002+08:00

i'm sure by now,

there aren't anymore readers of this blog.

i'm not gonna let it die.

this blog has my life in it,it'll be such a waste.

a lot has change since the last post.

life's been really good.

but sacrifices have to be made.

i have to leave the past totally behind,

though it's kind of impossible,

i did,and will do what i can.

if only you'd understand why i do all this,

why i ran away,

why i restrain from seeing you..

but you'll don't and i doubt you never will..

for now,

i'll just have to focus on what's ahead,

NS!!

i hope things will stay good for me

2010-12-29T03:01:00.002+08:00

what a year it had been.

boy oh boy..the things i've been through.

i realised i know myself better,

and maybe the world too.

i'd like to thank life itself,

for bring this year with full of it's teachings and wisdom.

and teaching me through the worst way it could,

because that is the only best way it could be taught.

2010-10-29T12:09:00.001+08:00

to tell u the truth,
it's been excruciating going through this.
but i think it's best for us.
for u and me..
as much as i hate to admit it.

but..
i'll keep to my words.
this time..

2010-09-06T04:17:00.005+08:00

i said i was going to blog a long post,

maybe i am,maybe i'm not.

well,

life's sure had taken it's toll on me for the past couple of weeks.

but i think i'm doing pretty well by the look of things,

i never regretted what i've done,and what happend.

each down turn in life just opens up my eyes a little bigger each time,

and i see the world,life,a step clearer.

it's these small or big occurrence that makes you reflect

and be a better person.

because if things were to be the as they are and fine,

you'd be fine,but,you wouldn't get to see it in a different view.

and due to those past black marks in life,

you learn to deal with the present and future crisis

that maybe similar.

i'm just really happy to be where i am now.

may not be in the best situation,

but never less thankful.

to get to be down to earth is a more blessing

thing,

rather to be high and blind=]

2010-08-25T16:07:00.003+08:00

as many would know by now,

things had come to an end

between us.

things haven't been working out well and it

seems that there is no point in holding on

if either one had already let go

it had been a great roller coaster ride with you.

i really hope you had a great time,

and hope you appreciate everything i've given.

may you find what you were looking for

that you couldn't find when you were here.

i shall not make it any longer.

and just let memories,if there's any left in you,

speak for itself.

thank you and goodbye.

2010-08-14T05:01:00.002+08:00

i went through literally every post i have in this blog.

and it brought up tons of memories of friends and love ones.

how friends become enemies,

strangers became lovers.

and just like everything else,

it was sure good while it lasted.

specifically,

i've been going through post about us,

you and me babe.

how we were back then.

spending morning till night,

from breakfast till dinner till supper

enjoying nothing more than each other's company.

and to that we use to spend hours loving,

and now,not even going through an hour not fighting seems

impossible at times.

i know we still love each other as before.

we just forgot about it,

we never take our time to reminisce.

but i still believe in us.

it's a love hate relationship,

but it'll work for me..

2010-07-21T18:37:00.005+08:00

its had been quite a hard week.

but i'm glad and always thankful to have such good friends

to get me through it all.

uncertainties haunts,

as choices has to be made.

to tell you the truth i'm not sure of anything right now.

stories,feelings,situation change

and decisions and compromising can't be made or finalized.

i hope truth,answers,doubts and fears

unveil itself soon.

cause as much as i understand

all that maybe be hard to swallow,

but i'd rather die know the truth than live in

a lie..

and i know you dont read this space of mine anymore=[

2010-07-14T03:38:00.008+08:00

well..

lately i felt like as if everything is overrated.

i do not know why or where such irrational feelings came upon

but it's very frustrating.

and anger,nevertheless, catalyze that emotion,

making things hard to be toned down.

i hope to come to a closure with these

feelings as soon as possible.

one of my conclusion is financial stability,

as is had happened more than one occasion and

in which with this issue,everything else seems to crumble down.

but still,it's isn't for sure yet.

the other possibility would be unachieved

self-satisfaction,which is usually caused by what

one would call ego.

the competitiveness with one's self

or others that reaches to a much personal

level that reputation or dignity may seem to be on the line.

thus,immediate action would or should be taken.

or maybe not.

cause it does not matter or affect anyone else.

the only reason that all this is written here is just to make

this space seem still alive,in which it still is.

and that i regard such writings as literature.

2010-06-26T23:16:00.007+08:00

hey...back!

yes.the 2 straight big events are over!

her birthday and our 1st year.

1st up,her birthday..

here are some pics..

just a lil surprise at vivo,and pastamania

for dinner.head to hort park later on as d taxi driver couldnt find henderson waves

and we gave up..

then,its our 1st year.

met up at town,got to paragon for lunch at fish n co.

miss the food there.

i was surprise she could finish up a whole seafood platter!

and head to cathay's ben n jerry's.

chilled out at esplanade till the end of the day..

there are too much pics to put up so lets keep it simple.

babe,i really hope you had a good time in those 2 days,

it may not be my best effort but i hope you enjoyed it.

i love you,alot and i hope we stay strong in the coming shits...

2010-06-25T07:46:00.002+08:00

the stage is set...

sound checked,

spot light's on spot...

now.. it's time to rock and roll..................

2010-06-07T23:11:00.004+08:00

hahah..almost a month of not updating.

but what's there to update?

been working my ass off,need the money

for baby's birthday gift.not to mention

our 1st year is on the day after her birthday.

sure gonna be a wallet atomic bomb!

hahaha.but i think it'll be worth it,

cause at the end of the day,

her smile is all it takes for my satisfaction to settle down.

i'll see u when the special day comes babe.till then you take care of

yourself..

2010-05-17T04:12:00.006+08:00

i must say,this was a beautiful piece..

i don't know what the critics were not happy about the movie,

i thought it was just great,put aside the fact that miley's the main actress,

it'll still be wonderful if it was somebody else,i mean it.

i had a very awkward time with dad the other day,we went out to bugis and sungei rd.

though,as we roamed the whole day,i was assured of why am i the way i am,

and that we are almost totally identical.

i found myself,or noticed,that I've been quite on my soft side of late,

slowly but surely i saw that side of me,again.

as much as i hate to accept it,i somehow would hate it more to push it away.

and she's the only reason,for this..

you're moving back,i'm happy for you.

you'll be where you're comfortable most.

though,it's going to hard for us,for me the most.

to adapt,and not have you at my finger tips.

and you know how i worry about you even when you're just a couple of blocks away,

what more now it's not a distance that i can actually run to you if whatever happens.

be strong,for me please..

lip syncing in buses,

happy dances on the street..

war and hugs filled every date,

always keep us on our feet..

2010-05-09T23:56:00.005+08:00

it seems like a little hassle to blog nowadays..

with things like fb and twitter around.

i know it's been a long time.

anyways,we had a good talk just now.

one that comes randomly and rarely,

and which i appreciate a lot.

i'm very sorry that we've been fighting quite a lot

lately.

and after the talk we had,i think things are going to get better

between us.

ily...

happy birthday ina.

2010-05-02T02:18:00.002+08:00

i've been on onsugar for so long,
it feels good to be back in blogger.
well, in my boyfriends account la.

dum dum dee dum.
shzn having his gig tmr.
\m/

2010-04-17T03:50:00.003+08:00

a week off...

i need to clear up myself,have a getaway,

but a week's not enough.

i thought it'd be..

somtimes the smallest action,

smallest thing that happend can really make its way up.

it could make your day,

or keep you sleepless,restless at night.

like how i am now.

but i think it's going to be okay,

got to get myself together.

2010-03-29T02:11:00.002+08:00

fairly good sunday.

had auni (niece) birthday party at my place.

sure there's tons of food.

it was nice seeing all the kids again.

though there's were other things that upsets me

but i guess it was quite a day.

2010-03-21T23:01:00.011+08:00

the good times,savour it..

i thought.

that day will never come,

you'll never feel that way,

you'll always want me to stay.

we'll be just as we were,

or better than before,

we'd be more sure than ever before.

i'll never have to worry,

never have to fear,

that it'll one day be over..

bt thought are thoughts

as they cloud the mind.

like long sharp thorny vines,

taking its time to intertwine..

praying for the better day to come,

as this bloodrush feels like getting numb,

before losing this fight and admitting defeat..

let us get back up on to our feet.

save me dear..

2010-03-11T01:59:00.003+08:00

well..

10 march,marked the end of my 2 years in ITE

as dreadful as it is to come to school every morning,

it feels a little bit shitty knowing you're not going to,

anymore..

the fact that you're not going to come to class

in the morning,

seeing all your crazy friends and have something to laugh about

every bloody day.

no matter if its about kicking someone's ass

or you just made a fool of yourself.

we had our paper,yesterday.

and there after,we all decided to have our meal

in the cafe for the last time.

and ironically,we sat together,all of us(the gerek ones ofcourse)

for the 1st time.

we ate,and chatted,and laughed as hell.

and one thing i've noticed,

it seems like every joke was funnier than it ever was.

no matter from who it was,how lame it is,how many time we've heard it.

we laughed hard.

and i thought to myself,

why? is it because we just want to end our last day together on a good note?

or that we know we wont be able to have the same kind of laughs,ever again.

yes,its a very happy thing to know you're done with school.

but not quite,knowing you're about to leave a part of your life behind.

2010-03-04T23:48:00.004+08:00

its strange,

that an event in your life can totally change

the course of it all..

and when you look back,you wish some thing never should had happend,

and you wished that you should have decide otherwise.

but when you think about it again,

maybe,its better that things went they way it did.

what we ned to do now,is just decide wisely,

look back once in a while and only take those

regrets as just lessons for us to not repeat it.

or mayb not..

2010-02-28T02:11:00.003+08:00

how long has it been aye?

hahaha.

still blogging and will be,

even though the gap between each post can be long.

it's still same old,same old..

just the fact that i'll be done with school soon

makes me a little excited and worried at the same time.

i'll figure it out soon

i dont feel like posting much.

so i'll just end it here..

good night=]

2010-02-08T00:56:00.003+08:00

how i spent my weekend:

friday:

11am-12am,went out with gf.

12am-5am,WORK

saturday:

11am-2am,WORK

sunday:

8am-12pm,WORK

12pm-7pm,lunch and chill with gf

8pm-12am,WORK

yeah..

thats it.

hope i get it big yaw!!

to you know who:

things are getting better,

great i shall say,and like u say,hope this will last..

cant wait for our date on friday^^

goodnight people!

-i miss you too ba'i boy,we'll hangout soon!

2010-02-04T00:57:00.002+08:00

i'm glad we met up.

talked things out,

clear our doubts,

and know how we felt.

glad things are working out again,

even if its just for now.

let's try to be this way...

everyday...

shall we?

2010-01-31T03:08:00.004+08:00

it had been bothering me that

a few things have changed in life

through last year.

people come,people go.

and the reason why i'm bothered is because,

when the people go,they point fingers to who they leave,

make it seem that they left for the right reasons,

and its life saving to do so.

i've been in it and i'm seeing it happening to others too.

but what's with it?

i mean,and time goes by,friendship/love should get stronger,

even not,should be more compromising.

since you know each other better.

so..is it a case of ''friend/no friend''?

''gang/no gang''?

i'm not sure.

but i'm not saying that its wrong,or

not logical.

yes,there are times that you just have to let go.

be it friends or lovers.

but its just strange to me.

how come its feels so political,

yet seems so mature.

think about it,throwing everything..

just for self satisfaction?

if it's worth your pride,

it's sure worth the other party's too.

of not trying to go back.

think about it...

by the way,this is not post for anyone in particular,just a thought...

===========================================

hey babe,today was great,

good talk.

not gonna see you for the coming week huh?

we'll have that date ok?

i'll plan something up just for us..

be patient=]

2010-01-27T02:59:00.003+08:00

after reading that short post of yours,

i can't help but to feel very bad.

it's been hard i know,

i've said it too many times that even you ask

me to listen to myself saying it.

but we're strong right?

i'm sorry that you waited 5 hours for me to be online,

i didnt know.i was outside.

we'll make it up..i'll make it up.

i will...

happy 7th babe.

2010-01-20T01:21:00.002+08:00

no words can describe the feeling i had,

when i open that envelope and saw this.

i've never got such a gift.

it was priceless...

it was what i should say a pleasent surprise,

mood changing.

only the people who were there knew

how moodless i was when i went out of the house.

ddn't think i'll have the kind of find i'd have.

but what do you know?

it was a pleasent surprise.

the quiet and peaceful place we were at,

was just perfect.

the place,the people who were there,

was just perfect.

and the second round of surprise when

the bukit batok clan came with sparkles burning and

their rowdy selves really made the night

more cheerful.

thnx guys,for everything today..

can never thank you all enough!

2010-01-17T02:29:00.002+08:00

had the worst week,the worst fight,

but i'm glad things are all better and clearer.

you know it,i know it..

so stay put,stay strong.

and we'll have our way..

as long as you're here,

we good to stay

ps:how i wish u'd b there on my date of birth.

2010-01-06T22:47:00.002+08:00

half dead blog here..i know.

but its not like there's plenty of readers,are there?

1st up,great countdown.

like every countdown,we will surely reflect on

ourselves on what we've been doing

through out the whole year.

the ups and downs,joy and pain.

and 2009 was quite a good year for myself..

now its back to school,

but not for long,only 3 months.

projects and exams are nearing.

no time to have fun.

though,i'm pretty excited for what

will be in the coming fortnight

2009-12-23T04:22:00.002+08:00

i miss this two,badly.

its been a long time that i've spend my time with them..

maybe soon kids!

hahahaha.

taking this chance to just blog as i wouldn't know

when i'll blog the nxt time.

so.

i'm in my so call ''work mode''

i've no mood for any other shit.

not jamming,not even hanging out.

just enjoying the fact of going to work for 2-3 days

and coming home and have like a well deserved rest.

it makes me feel like my time is worth it.

and very much looking forward to my pay.

but sadly,school's opening soon.

but that shouldnt be such a bad thing.

hope pay come soon.

i think that's about enough updates.

toodles!!

2009-12-14T02:28:00.002+08:00

matrep face.

hey..

its been quite a while,

and i must say i miss my lappy pretty much.

have been very busy lately,

and sad to say will be busy in the future.

just for those who don't know,that previous post was obviously not written by

me.

and yes i've watched twilight and it was good.

i'll update soon if i have more to talk about

gd nite ppl!

NEW MOON unofficial review

2009-12-11T01:00:00.002+08:00

new moon was pretty good. tho reeally, dakato fannings and taylor lautner's
moments of the movie were pretty briefed. like, i tot taylor was gonna get
somekind of power limelight or someth but nah
he dint appear in the movie as much as i tot he wud.

and whassup with the people here man?
like when taylor aka jacob came down to bella saying hi
with his hair. u knw, the loooong hair
people start laughing.
i mean, its cool reli it is.
but the lady sitting somewhere beside my couple seat
was laughing obnoxiously like its some big joke that
jacob had long hair
pfffffffft. fyi he had long hair in twilight
i think he was pretty cute bck then
especially when De hair gets into his mouth and he stumbles
into his own words..
ahhhhh yummm.

k kiddin.

and i OMGGGGGGG
i love kristen stewart. alot. alot alot.
i love how she plays her role so darn fcuking goddamn well.
esp when she went all, "NOOO.. NOOO!"
whenev edward/jacob says they wna leave her.
its like, the way she does is
reeally cool and like as if shes not playing any character at all
like, she IS bella.

and oh i love whenev she liplocks with edward
(no jacob people, they dint get to kiss)
she has this face on whenev shes steamy.
reli, you guys shud take notice of tht.
reli cutee.

though i do know media dont reli see KRISTEN as their
media darling. at all. i mean,
TAYLOR and Robert snatched it all frm her.

but thts just how it is, i love how she brings herself ard.
in new moon/ twilight. kristen projects bella
a chracter
whom is non-sociable, not smiley, very pale,
quiet, simple, not at all girly(she doesnt shop).

and thts exactly why i like kristen so effing much
shes so cool, she doesnt smile she doesnt talk she doesnt seem to fit in
all those flaws.. just makes her sooo
Bella.

ahahhha i swear i dnoe wht im trying to get at
but im just filling in.

ok i think i better go
and people,
new moon is good.
better than twilight actu.

so if u were to gimme edward or jacob
i'd chooooose
kristen
and mr mits.
<3

2009-12-05T05:45:00.001+08:00

it brings me much pleasure to know that

this blog still has readers,from local,

to people from overseas..

i thank you all and i will

try my best to update more

in the future

happy birthday miley

2009-11-23T23:25:00.004+08:00

ahHAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY

MILEY CYRUS!!

May you have more success

in the future and touch people

with your music

.
love ya!!

2009-11-07T02:21:00.004+08:00

well..

it was a good day after all..

though i was hoping something else,

but hey,we tried.

so a breakfast at mac,then off to town.

and it was sadly dead.

i mean,which shop is open at 12 noon on a friday?

hahahaha

but it was all well and good.

in short,its not where you spend your time,

but who you're spending it with

we're good......?

2009-11-01T23:35:00.002+08:00

well,

its been a normal,if not,quite a good week..

i suppose.though i had to survive with almost nothing.

and try to bare the life of the poor.

hahahaha..

but thats ok.

im still here and smiling.

some things got to my head.

and yeah

when u look at life from outside of yourself,

you'll see that it may not be that easy or simple.

so far, i've really thankful that life has been great

but you can never tell when its goint to turn again..

you've made me feel good about myself again,

feel happieness i've not felt for a long time,

and i thank you for that and hope you'd

always be around to let me be as i am

monday blues?more like red to me...

2009-10-26T21:15:00.010+08:00

well,well...

what a way to start the bloody week.

1st up,i was broke.i dont even have bus fare to go to school.

thinking of just skipping it for today but then someone close

told me that i should come.

and for that i had to trouble a classmate to pick me up and later than
send me back.

aint quite bad..

just that the total waste of time coming to class not doing anything

really made me feel it was just not worth it.

and it felt a little bit crappy knowing that you cant just walk away because

you depend on someone for transportation..

and no money to eat..how sad could it get?

all i can say is more.....

got home.

the 1st thing i did was EAT!!was so hungry...

fairly well..

had nothing to do,didnt want to take a nap because that'll make me

sleepless later at night i decided to take a stroll around the neighbourhood.

and texted her,if she could drop by after school and i thought if she didnt

want to hang around,walking her home would be enough.though its short,it maybe be worth it since we may not be meeting the whole week.

so i sat a spot,smoked,chill listening to songs on my mp3 and unwind.

hour and a half passed,and she said she's be late.so i get up and walk to the

interchange to top up my card since i just received some money..

she texted again saying she was on the way home.

knowing that,i walk,in a faster pace,worried if she'd be there and see if i wasnt around

and will get mad.

7.50.i was at the stop.thinking when she arrive, i'll b the 1st person to greet her.

she wasnt there,i was relieved.

light up a stick and sat patiently..

a few bus past by,

and i was getting anxious.

i tried lookng around but i cant see clearly as i wasnt wearing my glasses..

tried calling her phone but it wasnt available...

still waiting.its passed 8.25..

tried my luck and texted her..

though it was shocking,a little part in me told myself ''i thought so''.

she was at home just finished dinner.

i was blank,

i got up,and walk home.

as much fury that was in me.i tried to not to start anything unpleasent.

and here i am now.

on a monday,which i waste a quater of it waiting.

breaking a rule i set for myself

because waiting is the worst thing anyone will ever have to do

and thought seeing your smile could be worth my whole day..

so here i am,ranting this out.

to whom that would read,i dont know.

and saying that getting the 1st day of the week right

will make the whole week going right...

well..what a way to start it aye??

try make it up for something like that,

because i dont think anything could beat it..

very very upset that you didnt do much to make it

feel better..

you know i will even go sleepless just to make it up to you..

you know that..

2009-10-25T04:02:00.001+08:00

as you can tell from the ways the previous post was written,

it wasnt from yours truely..

yup,

its from her.

sweet babe.

always be proud of ya

made in china

2009-10-24T15:15:00.003+08:00

we'll keep this rockin
wont bother a shit of wht the world
has got to say
cos its just me and you
no other shitface knows wht we're
going through

but if the day comes when
the world is all ours but our hearts
gone into different ways
then baby, i'll try to not let u fall into
that sea of love destruction any deeper
i'll pull you higher to this thick plank
of wht we had built through our time of struggles and gaiety

but hey
bfore tht day comes
be it whether ure slapping me in d face
or kissing me lollipops
i'll stay here
right here
wit you

2009-10-19T00:07:00.003+08:00

well,i think i'm back to square one,

confused,as always.

yeah..some friends gave advise.

to stop it,before anyone gets hurt.

true.

than we sat down,she and me,we talk..

the thing is,yup,they can are right.

but they're not in our shoes,feeling what we feel.

going through what we are.

and by that,it makes words easier than having it done.

though,i'm still thinking,

how can things be better,

without having to hurt anyone.

i know,you're tired too,.

playing hide and seek.

but you should know its hard too..

and that isnt the only problems,

nvm,i'll just save that for later..

lets just smile aite babe?

2009-10-14T00:44:00.003+08:00

well..

life's been nice for now.

though,there still conflicts here and there.

politics,and stuff,

but that's the least of my worries..

i thought i totally made up my mind,

on how things are going to work..

but then,it didnt..

it just turned out thw way it was before.

and again,it starts bothering me again.

can we decide on something and stick with it?

or maybe,just for my sake?for once...

2009-10-06T19:26:00.001+08:00

the only picture of myself,alone,

on raya...

hahahaha.

had been a very tiring weekend...

2009-10-02T01:36:00.003+08:00

i had the greatest time with my 2 babies...

baby gerl,intan nuraaliyah..baby boy,wan qusyairi.

each are cute.but cuter when they're together..

u should have seen!!

but usually i spend more time with baby gerl.

and today was such a pleasent dat with her.

one particular time was when we were at an open space at a market

nearby,she was playing with my mp4,lying down with her head on my thigh,

then wen we were heading off,she climb on my back and i piggy back her all the way home.

she's a really bright,smart,obedient,and one tough cookie.

i think i'll make it a point to spend time with her every month or so.

wish dat i can capture the time i had with her on camera or something.

bt good enuff,it'll always b in my head.

i love u bby gerl!!=]

2009-09-30T04:25:00.002+08:00

after a good game of takraw,

and a peace of mind,

i had a nice,pleasent,peaceful sleep..

the kind i that i should be having.

now u know,

what i actually inttended.

and again dont think that i'm doing this

just for the fact that i'm losing you,

cox i had always care for u,its just dat i dun like

to show.

now you know...

2009-09-29T00:40:00.004+08:00

awak..

i just wanna say i'm sorry.

-for putting u in such a spot dat u feel so low,

-for making u think dat i'd fly off if there were another better one.

-for being so possessive and get jealous so easily dat it made

u change ur nature..

-to try to make u put me on top all ur priorities.

-for asking too much,give too little.

-for bringing u down,

-for making u doubt me.

-to be a distraction in your life,

-for coming in ur door and kicking everyone else out.

-for making u having a bad day the 1st thing u wake up

-for being such an ass.....

and most of all,im sorry..

-for making u go against everything u stand for.

*for being the very person to be all that

2009-09-27T06:10:00.006+08:00

ok,i'll come clean..

for the past month or so,i've been a real fanatic over her.

she's everywhere,hp wallpaper,desktop background,screen saver and all.

she' very pretty,agree?though much bad remarks about her are seen,

she's still my idol.

that led me to ask myslef,why so?

why her?

and a few points came to mind....

first of all,maybe its because i never had an idol or

for that matter idolise anyone and she's my first,so that made it all

something new.

or,maybe because i just think she acts very well,

sings well,good songs and i adore her for that.

then i realise,after watching every single addictive episode of her shows

and every single song from every album,

that it actually took me away from all my problems and worries.

a sweet escape.

and i adore her for she unknowingly just brighten up

someone's day..

cheers miley!!=D

...

as much as i want to voice out my opinion

or for that matter,anger.

i dont think i should.

i proved my point.its up to you to think..

maybe i could be wrong,maybe im too

sensitve or over reacting.

but just think about what happend today,

think of how you would feel,and more importantly

think where this is going,

if you were to be me..

i thought it was just you and me against the world,

but lets just not get there...

2009-09-21T07:43:00.003+08:00

a sneak peek at the raya..

well,its a happy day..

sure did had a rough time days before.

but things are better i guess.

and just when i think i'm gonna keep myself updated with

all latest songs and shit again,...................................

miley cyrus pulled my jaw down with her songs.

wakakakakakakaa!!

im still in season 1 !!-.-

nvm,taking my time.

but well,atleast i'm happy,

and happy that i can say so..

and i have not slept since raya's eve=D

toodles=]

2009-09-16T17:44:00.000+08:00

i think i'm being selfish..

i'm sorry.

2009-09-16T00:21:00.002+08:00

dat's qusyairi,intan's little quite brother..

its been a while since i see my baby girl,heard she had been sick.

well,just waiting till raya then.

just when i think things got better,the wheel rolls down again.

what does it takes to have a stable communication?

yeah for sure i can wait,be patient,be low about it.

but the thing is,i'm not even sure about it yet..

if only i know how you feel,how you think.

but like you said,i cant.

so open up,spell it out.

because i'm not standing here all day..

ok?

2009-09-11T05:18:00.006+08:00

all night......

then that?

hahahahahahahaha..

funny,kan?what a thing to laugh my ass about..

be like lepak better,take things lightly,right ??

hah.

take things serious pointlessly.

KANINA!

kan da maki

2009-09-09T01:28:00.002+08:00

as usual...

a meet up with my man itod(real name idros) in the middle

of the fasting month,its usually the only time we have a real meet up.

we would go geylang,do some shopping,breakfast,and go home.

but not this time,geylang seems boring..

i'm not sure if its the fact that its a tuesday and the place was kind of dead

or is it just us.

so,we got bored.next stop,SHISHA!!

long time no shisha..

didnt even made an effort to choose a place,

got into one,not sure if its new..it seems like it though

nice,cozy..relaxing.

have a look...

nice that we have such meet ups anually,

13 years of friendship still up and counting aye mate?

hahahaha..

good times...

2009-09-08T17:28:00.002+08:00

lately,i've become as usual,

if not,more sensitive and vunerable.

i feel slapping people asking rhetorical questions.

and it seems like everyone are a bunch of screwed ups..

''maybe its not the world who have issues with you..maybe you're the one having issues with the world?''a friend said.

maybe so......?

2009-09-03T01:16:00.003+08:00

browsed,album after album.

seeing all the percious time we can only call memories.

times grandpa was stil around,all of us were still kids.

happy,sad,smiles and frowns..

time when paksu was the best uncle anyone could ask for,

grandma still strong,the best cook in the world.

dad had long hair,mom had curls.

both brothers still lives here,still young.

having birthdays and anniversaries,

i pondered then,how far we've come..

how far we are now..

how far we left each other..

i could stop having mix feelings.

a moment i smiled,the next i sigh.

family,

the go a long way....

2009-08-30T21:56:00.003+08:00

a short post..

broke fast with whole family,as in cousins and others.

just another day at home.

spent it playing with baby girl and talking with bro..

had quite a surprise in the end.

i was putting on baby girls's shoes for her as she was going home.

asked her to salam me,bt instead she ran up and gave a big tight hug

and look at me and said bye,waving her hand.

it felt nice,never have i seen her doing that before.

well,sure glad i stayed home

2009-08-24T04:15:00.003+08:00

what you wrote touched me..

and it made me felt so bad.

and yes,

things have to change,

but it doesnt has to end.

remember what we wanted?

just to be good friends?

we'll work for it,

stand by the boundaries WE created,

and stay true.

because,in the end,the only people that matters

is us,

the only people's feelings that may concern

is ours.

i saw it in your eyes,

you dont want to end it,

so why even thought about it?

remember.

we decide what we want.

not them,

not anyone else...

so,good friends?

2009-08-17T21:04:00.005+08:00

for the sake of it.

had been a very good week.only certain stupid accidents which

should now have happend in the 1st place.

but yeeah..things are going great..

''u can do without them,right?''

a question i've yet to answer.

only to myself that is.

the odds are little.and still thinking.

well,while i'm on it,might as weel giv my shout out.

see this girl below??

i miss her..

yes,she loveeeeeesssss it when i do somthing like this,

DUN U BITCH??!

hahaha.well,i do lah ok!

toodles=]

2009-08-13T15:42:00.001+08:00

a good example of

not to judge a person before seeing his abilities,

people laughed at him when he told them about himself,

but became silent upon watching him perform,some even looked

surprised.

a real life moral story...

2009-08-10T11:37:00.003+08:00

yeah,national day..

lets just say it was a hell of a day/night..

i'm just glad i spent it well..

anyways,

enjoy this vid,

lame to me, but still...

enjoy the accent..

2009-08-01T01:51:00.002+08:00

tons,

tons of things running around ones head.

mine to be specific,

certain things do happends,and one wonders why..

broken friendship,forbidden friendship,

politics for the shallow.

some things can get too far,

some can only get you so far,

and some other are just the left the way they are...

it's saturday.

and it just came up,that it'll be the day i clear my mind.

think straight,

decide fate,

and things will be fine.

2009-07-20T23:32:00.003+08:00

been wanting to write,but busy..

anyways,there's a few things i want to share.

partly family,and someother things.

firstly,about family,

as some may or may not know,my dad and i havent been in

really good terms for years,due to some past incidence.

but it was changing as i grew slowly,but this got me pondering to myself;

my bro and i was sitting,smoking,at his house when we were talking about dad.

he made me imagine a scenario:

dad,was in a good mood,preparing lunch for him.he cooked a nice meal with side dishes,

he came to my bro work place,with the food packed nicely,neatly,in a plastic bag.

as dad reached bro's workplace,with a sincere smile he pass the food to bro.

but bro,being an unthankful son slaps the food from dad hands and spill it all over the ground..

''imagine that food smashes to the ground.and try picture the how'll dad look like..

slowly picking up the food back.how will you feel? ''bro asked me.

at 1st,we laughed,hard picturing it.but slowly,i stopped.a little tear came out from me.

''fuck.i'll give him a good hug'' i said.

''huh..you dont hate him that much after all.i'd walk away if i were you''

he continued.

that caught me thinking.

maybe i dont hate him as much as i think.

yeah.its just the pride i guess..

funny,i still laugh to myself thinking about the whole thing.

and still feel how sad i'd be if it really happend.

well,

i'll change,

slowly,but surely..

2009-07-13T01:40:00.002+08:00

well spent sunday,

it was somwthing i dont get to see or enjoy everyday.

and i treasure it.

although it may be just a normal thing to the others.

i've been sick for a week now.

and been stressed for a while.

but i still can get up on my two feet,cant i?

i just hope,wish,

that everything could be as normal as it was.

please..

give me the gift of restoring life.....

2009-07-09T21:14:00.003+08:00

its really magic,of how this cute little prick can change so much in my life.

its been an ironic month as usually the case will be that she'll at myplace when im out,and be at her granny's when im around.

and so,after weeks of missing,i finally got to spend time with her.

upon seeing her face,my high fever and all other sickness seems to disappear.

totally..

she's a real gift.

ily!!

that cheeky face!!

now im back to being sick,what luck.

i think i need to see you again?

yeah!

2009-07-05T22:51:00.005+08:00

making it short,

i dunnoe why,

i feel i miss my baby girl like sooooo badly.

real bad,fucking real badly,compared to other times..

its been so long since i spend time with her,

and i've been missing my chance to see her for the whole week

and yesterday was the one of it,it spoilt my night..

ergh!!

i want to see you soon!!

please!

2009-07-05T02:55:00.005+08:00

i miss you!!

well...

pleasent weekendsafter all.

there's so much to talk about so many thing that had happend for the past few weeks.

but i dun think i'm goning to blog about it,many just some of it..

i miss intan soooo much.

it was sad because when im around,she was not.

and when i'm not she came,

IT HAPPEND IN LIKE 2 DAYS STRAIGHT!!

its sad cause its been so long we spend time

and she intend to not be comfortable again.=[

but i shall not give up!

i WILL do my best to get to spend time with her.

i think thats just one out of the many stuff i can/will share now.

2009-06-28T21:12:00.006+08:00

well,it was a beautiful weekend i shalls say.

sadly,there arent any pictures,

but yes,it was the kind of week ends that you'd wish

will never end.

growing up with an open-minded family,

you tend to forget some people dont think the way

you do,and for that a fine line of boundaries is drawn,

and its a real hazard and sometimes it even make you feel

like you're ruining or disturbing the peace of others

with your ideology..

i think i got a crush on you..sssshhhhh

lets hope for the better,

that things could change..

2009-06-23T16:04:00.002+08:00

before

after

now i' down with flu caused by the dust and stuff....

but i'm happy,i'm almost there...

to make my dream room...

i miss u,
and sometimes i wish u'd miss me too=[

2009-06-17T02:33:00.002+08:00

letting go could mean cant be bothered with it,

or maybe you've gave up.

maybe thats just the phrase to describe it.

yeah,it's been a great roller-coater ride,didnt thought it'll end.

i thought it was more then just a ride,thought it was a journey.

but hell..

maybe,just maybe it didnt mean a shit,if it did,

it be just a puny thing you'd go

''it was fun then....''

take a minute,sit back,reminisce..

try,

just a little while ,

if those times still brings a smile..

or instead,you'd like to makea move and say goodbye?

its your call,your shots,your style..

2009-06-08T21:50:00.004+08:00

this is what happend when u cabot school..

was around jurongville's canal,on the PIE exit when i was fiq's pillion and

we were going in a deep corner when razak misjudge his speed and bang on fiq's rear tyre.

panic,fiq brakes hard resulting skidding,just when he realise it was a mistake to brake,it was too late the back of the bike hit and draggedby the side wall and i literally

flew out from the back,to the front.

bikes were wrecked,but no one was seriously injured.

here's some of what i got

razak's

mine

the deepest cut among all

1st aid guy,thnx adi bro!!

we learn our lesson right guys??

well.not sure abt that

2009-06-05T16:31:00.003+08:00

fuck..

probably the best thing i can say after skipping 2 days of school straight.

what more,have been skipping fridays 2 WEEKS in a row.

hell..

why cant i wake up in the morning!!

for those who knows me well will know this is an issue in my life eversince i went into ITE.maybe before that.

i really hate missing school but i hate missing sleep too.

but hey.

i'll try ok!?

thanks..

2009-06-04T00:08:00.002+08:00

well...

not exactly the best week for me,but too soon to say aye?

though,i'm still wondering what's the problem.

i know there's something,but just forgot what.

money?friends?time?

school!?

still not sure.

maybe its nothing.!

hahaha

beats me.

yeah.

im beat.

till then!

2009-05-31T22:41:00.002+08:00

the only pic i have from the weekend.

it was fun..priceless.

how i wish it last longer...

though...

some stuff,pulled me down a lil,mentally...

but neah.

im not gonna let it ruin my shit

2009-05-24T01:03:00.002+08:00

celebrated mom's birthday,an advance one.

it was really nice,seeing all my siblings,their children.

especially the one in the lil one in d pic.

well,its been real,its been great..

2009-05-20T23:50:00.000+08:00

2009-05-17T00:40:00.006+08:00

it was REDBULL X FIGHTER

motorcross show,and i must say,

it made me appreciate scramblers much more than before.

thnx to khairi whose fanatic about it.

IT WAS KICK-ASS

AWESOME!

quite a waste for those who missed it.

its just simply an excellent expirience..

2009-05-13T23:11:00.002+08:00

this is yatie.bob's lil sister.

the one who keep pastering me to come down and hang out

but in the end didnt came down due to laziness

nice one huh!!

anyways.its good to hang out again!

i was forced to post this

2009-05-12T23:12:00.002+08:00

as happy as i look in this pic,

i'm not.because i'm sick.

it sucks.because i wanna school.

i wanna school.because i'm left out in studies.

...

darn....

2009-05-09T12:08:00.003+08:00

friday,eyna's bday ''party''

just like any other day and ass-off laughing time

as usual with these guys..

pics will do the talking.

''sapau tk badan die??''

andy grabbing balls as usual.

never had a band pic till then.

i shall say it was a satisfying day.

did i spell that right?

nvm

yeah,for those who knows

would say the same thing too..

aint it right guys??

2009-05-03T02:06:00.002+08:00

long,super long day...

morning was a family outing to jurong bird park.

sadly,this are the only 2 pictures that i got of humans.

others are,yes..birds.

i'mnot a big fan of my hair right now.

thats nor,hell of a friendly girl.

head down on meeting maya,eir and bari.

crazy shit we did aye??

i for got what actually happend here

do seem like im having fun.

JAGA!!AKU NK KENCET!!!

fat,teeth,lumps and black.the best combination

for fun.

as you can see how interesting the conversation

i'm having with this guy on the left.

so deep,it made me ponder to boredom.
.

i can say it was a meaningful day,

i spent time with my family members.

i spent tie with good friends.

...

good company,good times...

2009-05-02T15:34:00.000+08:00

i luv ur momma's arseeee.

:D

2009-04-30T17:47:00.005+08:00

it was a short week of school,

not much happend,and i have not talk about

school for quite a while.

i found a piece of paper dat wrote fat chick on it.

so,out of boredom,i wanted to see how steath i am

and try to paste dat piece of paper on as much people i can in the class.

and this is who i got....

herdir

nardi

weng sum,he just got the model student award..
we can see why.

nanda,i got get this guy...

azlan.

aizat..

OK,if u notice,u'll see two guys standing in the front.

the guy in red,hedir is bullying the guy in white,nanda..

for the same reason as me,boredom...

the next few pic will show the same

atesham,the millionare.and again,hedir with nanda.

and lastly,matnuh..abang sapau..

and i think this picture clearly prove of what herdir

was actually doing.

so tell me,how do learn,study,in a class like this??

but for what is worth.we all had a good time

2009-04-26T23:31:00.002+08:00

a haircut after almost 3-4 months.

laugh all u want,i think im happy dat

i can cut this well by my own,and got a cut n my finger for it.

something big is coming soon,wish me luck.

tell me,if u're given a choice of having all the fortune in the world,

or having to control time,which will u choose?

do share..

2009-04-19T18:37:00.011+08:00

it was to be BR'S debut gig performance.

it was overall an average performance.

to see more,

CLICK HERE

but we did had our fun...

here's SOME of wat i got..

we all meet up at j.e 1st before proceeding.

before the gig..maya macam paham!!wahahaha

getting ready and setting up.

what hte hell was i thinking!!!WAHAHAHA

in man's mind ''what the fuck is ISKANDAR talking about?!''

acting like we rocked it...

iskandat death-defying vocals

the reason for the face:it was super hot..

the after math of the whole thing...

this is man,our lead..

MAN-G-KOK=MANGKOK

dun b deceived by that cock face,

he's good,

''he's a good fren,but a better guitarist, there is none...''

CHEY,isap sua man..sepak muke kau kasi ko pening lalat

pakai mangkok gunting rambot kau baru tau..

i'd like to thank for all that came and supported,

u made it all worth while...

thnx!!!

2009-04-16T23:50:00.002+08:00

saw this 2 sweet rides when i was walking pass by this whole stretch of millionare houses near botanic garden.cool or wat!!

i cant believe wat i saw..

and d reason i was there was bcox i wanted to apeal for d fine case.

which turned out dat i had to have a 30min bus trip,45min walk in

the garden itself to find the HQ of the park to just fucking find hear

''sorry but ur apeal is rejected''

dat was such lovely words coming from someone who seem

be following the law very well.

i was informed dat d officer dat caught me made a statement

dat i DID not deny to my offence when i actually gave her a blurr face not remembering when it fucking happend.

thnx alot.

i really love how fucked up ppl can be.

the nerves of this pricks..

GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK

2009-04-06T23:41:00.003+08:00

i was fined $300 this afternoon.

for dropping 2 drinking straws.

WHICH I DIDNT NOTICED.

300 fucking dollars...

how unlucky was that..

fuck...

2009-04-04T04:24:00.003+08:00

its 4 in the morning,

and i've yet to sleep..

i've been thinking about life so much,

yet do nothing about it.does that mean i'm wasting it?

i'm not quite sure of anything right now.

just want to overcome that one gol i hav right now and i'll start

on the others.

and tis got me tinkng about somethig a wise ma once questioned me about..

''man created buildings for shelter,cars for transportation,food for survival and pleasure.man created everthing for a purpose.but one must wonder why are man created?what is the purpose for a man himself?''

care to share anyone?

dats all=]

2009-03-30T02:58:00.001+08:00

funny as hell!!!!

hahaha,

bye

2009-03-25T04:01:00.004+08:00

so into their music right now...

i have a problem.i hate sharing music,some music..

for some reason,i dont mind sharing those music that i just''like''

but not those i ''love''.

and sometimes even i dont even know why..

i get kind of pissed off when i know somebody is listening to something

that i dont want them too,i know,its not really mine to keep..

maybe its because i dont think people know or see that thing,

not specificly music,as special or meaningful as i do..

like,lets say u just got a new pair of shoes,and u think that its so cool

and you love it very much,you'd get pissed off if u see the same pair of shoes

on someone else's feet right?

it just pulls out all the ''special-ness'' of it from you.

or maybe,because you found out about it by yourself,

and when you know that others are having it,you see it as they

are copying...

but thats just my point of view.

2009-03-16T01:39:00.002+08:00

i hardly sleep nowadays..

thousands of rubbish keep playing in my head everytime

i close my eyes to sleep=.=

think thing's been really good for now,

glad that life's been nice.

anyways,i just wanna ask anyone out there who reads my blog for your opinion,

dats if u want to share..

i have problems understanding ppl who loves/keep emphasizing on phrases like

''dun judge me''

what the hell does that even mean??

ok,its not like i dun literally know what it is

but what the fuck do ppl mean by it?

WE ALL JUDGE DONT WE??

hahahhah.

i mean,isnt that wat IMPRESSION is all abt??

ppl dun JUDGE u,they have an IMPRESSION of u

hahahahaha.

its not even an issue to me but just wanna make a

dicussion out of it,a topic..

and to know that such silly things can be such huge matter...

silly....

do share if u want

im just bored=D

2009-03-07T00:30:00.001+08:00

been discharged from the hospital..

and on her way to recovery,thankfully....

its good seeing her running around and playing like a healthy kid again=D

2009-03-06T01:09:00.002+08:00

spent my whole day with my precious!

she's getting better as time goes..

but keep feeling agitated and grumpy.

because of that tube on her left hand,keep wanting to pull ot out and complain it hurts.poor thing=[

will b going to see her again today if i have nothingon=D